A Life  Rebuilt, Piece by Piece

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  My Mom and Dad were blessed with 12 children.  I was number 9.  I was 6 years old when my family relocate from North Carolina to New York. That was a big adjustment, I was bullied for being different and not having the finer things of life. I spoke with a strong southern drawl and rejection found me early in my life.  I became a fighter, not because I was strong, I fought to survive, to be accepted,  to fit in, hoping someone would finally see me. But acceptance did not come...not then.  Not until later in life, when I was married.

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At eighteen, I married a man who absolutely adored me and whom I loved deeply. Many doubted out relationship because he was ten years older, but our love proved them wrong.  Our marriage wasn't perfect, but our love was.  We were happily married for 43 years.  He was the first person to truly recognize my potential and became my number one cheerleader; always believing in me long before I believed in myself.  Whether I was singing at church banquets, weddings, funerals or community events, he was always there...giving me a thumbs up, cheering me on, building my confidence each time.  Together, we raised three successful adult children, and today I am blessed with eight beautiful grandchildren.

 

Before motherhood, I served three years in the Women Army Core.  That season taught me discipline, integrity, punctuality, and accountability.  A few years later in 1980, I surrendered my life to God, and was ordained in 1983, my husband surrendered shortly thereafter too.  During the early years, my husband and I also opened our home to two young relatives who needed stability and love.  Overnight, our family of 5 became a family of 7.  It was a challenging season, but also a deeply meaningful one.  We poured into them spiritually and emotionally for 6 years, until they were reunited with their family.  That experience stretched me, matured me, and taught me that love often requires sacrifice.

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It was also during that time that I first discovered my love for writing.  I began writing a weekly article in our local newspaper, The Hudson Valley Press entitled, "Revealing the Word" while also serving  eight years as a radio personality on K104, hosting a spiritual broadcast segment titled "Back to the Bible" on the weekend. It was a wonderful time using both platforms to uplift and encourage the community.  Those experiences taught me that words...spoken or written...carry the same power to transform, uplift and heal. From that moment writing became my release, my healing , my voice and my ministry.

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Eight years ago, after 43 years of marriage, my beloved husband went on to Glory.  Before his passing, I tenderly care for him the last nine years of his life, as he lived with profound physical limitations after suffering a stroke. In those quiet, painful and sacred moments, I often asked God, "What do I do now?" And He whispered, "I have given you the gift to write." So I wrote. I journaled my prayers, my dreams, my grief, my frustrations, my questions, my love for the Lord. I even journaled my husband's expressions of affection toward me, his prayers even in his sickness  and his deep love for his Heavenly Father. It was heart-wrenching and yet so beautiful to witness... his tender heart, his humility and his unwavering love, even in his most challenging moments. I journaled.  Writing became my release, my healing, my escape, my ministry.

 

My first novel, The Plan, The Thought, The Purpose flowed straight out of that season of grief and faith.  I needed moments of joy, so I created characters with humor and real-life personalities...people who felt alive to me.  Late at night, after putting my husband to bed, I would run to my computer to write about the characters God placed in my imagination.  They became my companions during a time when I felt so alone. Writing made me laugh when I felt heavy, and it allowed me to breathe while I remained faithfully by my husband's side.  It was through those pages that God kept me, strengthened me, and allowed me to express what my heart could not say out loud.  Two years later, I wrote the sequel Once More On the Edge, after so many of my readers fell in love with the characters from The Plan, The Thought, The Purpose and asked me to continue the story of their beloved characters. 

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After the passing of my husband, my ministry shifted, and my writings shifted with it. God wanted to use my experiences to help others who were hurting, and feeling rejected and in need of validation. It was then Picked by Name was birth through a prophetic dream. A book designed to assure anyone who has ever felt unseen, rejected, forgotten, overlooked, or mistaken that God created them with purpose and has loved them from the very beginning.

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For the past five years, I have been teaching a weekly Friday night Bible Study, taking my group verse by verse, explaining and expounding the Scriptures with clarity and compassion.  Watching them grow spiritually has been one of the greatest joys of my life.  I was ordained as a missionary in1983, an evangelist in 1990, an elder in 2010 and continued to learn each day that I am qualified...not by man's standards, but by God's grace.  By His grace and mercy, I am now able to confidently share His life-changing gospel with anyone and everyone.

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Today, I stand rebuilt..not who I once was, God rebuilt me...piece by piece, truth by truth, chapter by chapter, season by season.  God always intended me to be...healed, redeemed, loved and restored. I now use my voice, my writings and my counseling abilities to help others find healing and discover their God-given purpose.

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And my mission is simple: to remind you, that you are seen, you are loved, you are chosen...  you were picked by name.

 

Walking in His Favor – Carrie E. Robinson